1) Sometimes people misunderstand what we intended or misinterpret what we say. Maybe we mean something as a joke and people take it seriously, or we say something serious and they take i as a joke.
* Can you recall a recent time when you were misunderstood?
* Why do you think you were misunderstood?
* How about a time you misunderstood someone else? Why did that happen?
[Note: Plenty of time could be spent on these questions. Try to steer the conversation away from blame, and more towards recognizing that people are just different.]
2) Activity: What really happened?
[Note: This activity could be easily repeated with different material. It might be helpful to provide the volunteer with pen and paper.]
* One volunteer stay in the room.
* Everyone else leave the room, including the leader.
* The leader reads the following story to the group:
Mary Daley, a loyal fan of the Cooper City Little League, understood the value of calling a game (even a close one) on account of darkness. "No sense playing when it's too dark to see the ball," she always said. "The field will still be there tomorrow."[Note: Story comes from this site.]
There was a game most every summer evening in Cooper City. Mary never missed one. Her big old Victorian overlooked Cooper City Memorial Field; her back yard, the perfect spot to park a lawn chair. She cheered for the boys and girls on both teams, even when the littlest ones ran to third base after whacking the ball off the tee.
She cheered for nearly forty-five years, until, as often happens to women of a certain age, she fell and broke her hip.
"No sense keeping the old Duster. You won't be driving with that hip," said son William, visiting between business tips.
"You'll love Golden Heights. It's much safer than being alone in that old house," said daughter Natalie, up from Boston for the weekend. "Aren't you tired of that racket from the ball field all summer? And those kids! Every time I call, you've got a bunch of them at the door looking for Popsicles and candy."
And so Mary sits in a stiff blue chair by the window of her darkened room in Golden Heights and watches the end of a sunset, while somewhere in Cooper City a crowd cheers the last play of a game that is about to be called on account of darkness.
* One by one, each person goes into the room, recounts what details they can recall from the story to the person in the room, and comes back out.
* After everyone has gone in and come back out, everyone goes back in.
* The volunteer now tries to reassemble the story and recount it.
* Read the original story to the volunteer now.
Questions for the volunteer:
* What pieces did you not hear from the original story?
* Was it hard to reassemble the story?
* Did you get contradictory information from different people?
* Did anyone appear to purposefully deceive you?
3) Read: Matthew 4:1-11
Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written: " 'He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'" Jesus answered him, "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'" Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me." Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'" Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.
4) Read: Luke 4:1-13
Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the desert, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was hungry. The devil said to him, "If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread." Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone.'" The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And he said to him, "I will give you all their authority and splendor, for it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. 7So if you worship me, it will all be yours." Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.'" The devil led him to Jerusalem and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down from here. For it is written: " 'He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'" Jesus answered, "It says: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'" When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.
5) We've read this story before, but here we are presented with two versions: one in Matthew, and one in Luke. Both versions are from the bible, but there are clearly differences.
* What are some of the differences between these stories?
* Why do you think they are different?
* Do you think one is "right" and one is "wrong"? Why or why not?
6) Activity: Describe your angle.
[Note: Any object will do for this exercise, provided that it has different details from different angles.]
* Everyone sit in roughly a circle.
* Put some sort of object in the middle of the group, like a soda can.
* Without moving, each person should describe details of the object.
* Occasionally, when someone describes a detail that someone else can't see, ask other people these questions: Can you see that? Do you believe it is there? Why or why not?
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