The 5th Mark, Study 3: Extending Jesus' Friendship to Everyone

For Sunday Nov 16th, 2008

1) During the last week, did you extend a friendly hand to someone you normally don't?
If so, please describe what happened, both good and bad.
[Note: Invite them to be truly honest about any bad aspects and block out all judgements about what they felt was bad.]

2) When someone you don't normally associate with approaches you, how do you react? (Friendly? Hesitant? Anxious?) Why do you think you react this way? [Note: Again, invite them to be honest. And help them to explore how they feel.]

[Note: Before starting this next reading, hand out paper and pens. In addition, the leader should read this story.]
3) Close your eyes, and imagine yourself in the Samaritan woman's place.
Read: John 4:5-9

and on his way he came to the town of Sychar. It was near the field that Jacob had long ago given to his son Joseph. The well that Jacob had dug was still there, and Jesus sat down beside it because he was tired from traveling. It was noon, and after Jesus' disciples had gone into town to buy some food, a Samaritan woman came to draw water from the well.
Jesus asked her, "Would you please give me a drink of water?"
"You are a Jew," she replied, "and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink of water when Jews and Samaritans won't have anything to do with each other?"

Without discussing it with each other, write down how you imagine the Samaritan woman regards Jesus initially at this point. [Note: Give them 30 seconds or so, then continue.]
Read: John 4:10-20

Jesus answered, "You don't know what God wants to give you, and you don't know who is asking you for a drink. If you did, you would ask me for the water that gives life."
"Sir," the woman said, "you don't even have a bucket, and the well is deep. Where are you going to get this life-giving water? Our ancestor Jacob dug this well for us, and his family and animals got water from it. Are you greater than Jacob?"
Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again. But no one who drinks the water I give will ever be thirsty again. The water I give is like a flowing fountain that gives eternal life."
The woman replied, "Sir, please give me a drink of that water! Then I won't get thirsty and have to come to this well again."
Jesus told her, "Go and bring your husband."
The woman answered, "I don't have a husband."
"That's right," Jesus replied, "you're telling the truth. You don't have a husband. You have already been married five times, and the man you are now living with isn't your husband."
The woman said, "Sir, I can see that you are a prophet. My ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews say Jerusalem is the only place to worship."

Now write down how you imagine she regards Jesus.
Read: John 4:21-26

Jesus said to her: Believe me, the time is coming when you won't worship the Father either on this mountain or in Jerusalem. You Samaritans don't really know the one you worship. But we Jews do know the God we worship, and by using us, God will save the world. But a time is coming, and it is already here! Even now the true worshipers are being led by the Spirit to worship the Father according to the truth. These are the ones the Father is seeking to worship him. God is Spirit, and those who worship God must be led by the Spirit to worship him according to the truth.
The woman said, "I know that the Messiah will come. He is the one we call Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."
"I am that one," Jesus told her, "and I am speaking to you now."

Again, write down how you imagine she regards Jesus.
Share your results with each other. What do you notice about each others impressions?
[Note: Ideally, they should note that the woman's regard for Jesus changes throughout the story as she gets to know him. This is an important bridge to the next reading.]
Have you ever met someone that you did not like at first, but after you got to know them better, you began to understand them and like them? [Note: Encourage them to describe this change in perspective.]
[Bible note: The Samaritan woman was a widow and would have been an outcast. Being a Samaritan also made her "second class" in the eyes of Jews.]

4) Read Matthew 5:43-48

You have heard people say, "Love your neighbors and hate your enemies." But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you. Then you will be acting like your Father in heaven. He makes the sun rise on both good and bad people. And he sends rain for the ones who do right and for the ones who do wrong. If you love only those people who love you, will God reward you for that? Even tax collectors love their friends. If you greet only your friends, what's so great about that? Don't even unbelievers do that? But you must always act like your Father in heaven.

Loving your enemies and praying for them is not an easy thing to ask. Why does Jesus call us to do more than just love our friends? [Note: There's no right answer here. Encourage them to explore (or even suggest) several possible reasons such as "to foster peace on earth", "to recognize Christ in each other", or "to help us grow into better people".]

5) Take a moment to think of someone who is your "enemy" or that you really don't get along well with. Write down that person's name on your paper. [Note: Pause at this point to let them write it down.]
During this week, carry this piece of paper with you. When you notice the paper, say a quick prayer for that person and for yourself.

The 5th Mark, Study 2: Friendship with Jesus

For Sunday Nov 9th, 2008

1) Last week we discussed the importance of being an honest and loyal friend. During your week, did you have a situation where you had to practice this honesty or loyalty?

2) When you think of Jesus, how do you picture him? Do you imagine him far away, or standing next to you? Do you imagine him old, or young?
[Note: Put down a line of tape in the room, and have kids move from side to side based on different polarities of seeing Jesus: young/old, far away/standing next to you, quiet/outspoken, friendly/scary, physical/ghostly... any others you can think of]

3) Is it difficult to imagine Jesus being your friend? What are some some of the barriers?

4) Read: John 15:14.

And you are my friends, if you obey me.

What do you imagine Jesus means by this?
Now let's read more of that same passage: Jn 15:9-14

I have loved you, just as my Father has loved me. So remain faithful to my love for you. If you obey me, I will keep loving you, just as my Father keeps loving me, because I have obeyed him.
I have told you this to make you as completely happy as I am. Now I tell you to love each other, as I have loved you. The greatest way to show love for friends is to die for them. 14And you are my friends, if you obey me.

Does reading more of this passage help you understand what Jesus is talking about? If so, how?

5) Read: Mt 18:20

Whenever two or three of you come together in my name, I am there with you.

Why do you think Jesus wants us to come together?
How does being friends with each other help draw us closer to Jesus?
[Note: Ideally we're trying to get them to the idea of seeing Jesus in other people, but that may be a stretch.]

6) Can you think of someone you see during the week who needs a friend?
How might it be hard to extend friendship to that person?

The 5th Mark, Study 1: Friendship with Each Other

For Sunday Nov 2nd, 2008

1) What are some words that describe what a friend is?
[Note: Ideally have post-its with markers for the youth to write their ideas on and stick them on a wall.]

2) Read Proverbs 27:5-7.

A truly good friend will openly correct you.
You can trust a friend who corrects you, but kisses from an enemy are nothing but lies.
If you have had enough to eat, honey doesn't taste good, but if you are really hungry, you will eat anything.

Do these words by King Solomon match any of your descriptions of a friend?
Do you agree with what Solomon says?

3) Read 1 Samuel 18:1-4.

David and Saul finished talking, and soon David and Jonathan became best friends. Jonathan thought as much of David as he did of himself. 2From that time on, Saul kept David in his service and would not let David go back to his own family. 3Jonathan liked David so much that they promised to always be loyal friends. 4Jonathan took off the robe that he was wearing and gave it to David. He also gave him his military clothes, his sword, his bow and arrows, and his belt.

In this passage, the young David (before he was king) makes a friendship covenant with King Saul's son Jonathan.
What do you think might be the significance of Jonathan giving his robe and sword to David?
[Note to leader: Traditionally it represents Jonathan acknowledging David as an equal from a military and class point of view, but allow the kids to explore other ideas as well here]

4) Read 1 Samuel 19:1-7. [Note to leader: Possibly have the youth act this story out]

One day, Saul told his son Jonathan and his officers to kill David. But Jonathan liked David a lot, and he warned David, "My father is trying to have you killed, so be very careful. Hide in a field tomorrow morning, and I'll bring him there. Then I'll talk to him about you, and if I find out anything, I'll let you know."
The next morning, Jonathan reminded Saul about the many good things David had done for him. Then he said, "Why do you want to kill David? He hasn't done anything to you. He has served in your army and has always done what's best for you. He even risked his life to kill Goliath. The LORD helped Israel win a great victory that day, and it made you happy."
Saul agreed and promised, "I swear by the living LORD that I won't have David killed!"
Jonathan called to David and told him what Saul had said. Then he brought David to Saul, and David served in Saul's army just as he had done before.

Although David is being threatened by Saul, Jonathan takes an enormous risk. What is the danger in Jonathan's action?
The story of David and Jonathan is a well known story of friendship in the bible. If you are interested in reading more, chapters 18 through 23 of 1st Samuel cover much of that friendship.

5) What is difficult about being a friend in the way described in the passages we've ready?
If you can, describe a recent situation in which you had to do something difficult in order to be a true friend.

6) As you go about your week, how might you apply what we've discussed here?

The 7 Marks of a Young Disciple

The Marks of a Young Disciple as defined at St Tim's:

1. Young disciples of Jesus remember that they are members of the family of God.
   
2. Young disciples of Jesus come to church on Sunday.
   
3. Young disciples of Jesus talk to God by praying.
   
4. Young disciples of Jesus understand that everything they have is a gift from God. They are thankful by giving to the Church.
   
5. Young disciples of Jesus meet together to learn more about God and to be friends with each other.
   
6. Young disciples of Jesus use their talents to praise God and help the Church.
   
7. Young disciples of Jesus share God's love with their community and the world.